


First

by Miss_Romance_Lover



Category: Ballum, EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:54:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27155521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Romance_Lover/pseuds/Miss_Romance_Lover
Summary: A little imagining of Callum explaining recent events to Ben.
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 2
Kudos: 52





	First

"Cal," Ben pleaded. "Callum. I know something's wrong. Talk to me, please babe. You've got me worried now."

"I...I can't."

"Why not? What's so bad that you can't tell me about it?"

Callum couldn't look at him. "You'll hate me. I hate me."

"What? No chance. Nothing could ever make me hate you. And what's all this about hating yourself, eh?" 

Ben sat down next to his boyfriend, joining their hands together with a steady grip. Firm, constant - reassuring, almost. 

Almost. 

"Tell me what's hurting you. Tell me and I'll help you fix it."

Desperate, drained eyes met Ben's anxious ones. "You can't, Ben. No one can fix this. I'm..."

"Babe? You're what?"

Callum clung onto Ben's hands, as if trying to draw strength. "I'm being blackmailed." He let out a shaky breath.

"Bla...I don't...I don't understand. How? Who? Is this about you working for my dad? Has someone got to you?"

"No, no. It's my boss."

"Which one? Wait, that Thompson bloke?"

Callum nodded. "And it keeps getting worse. I don't know what to do, I can't do this any more. But I can't stop either or I'm gonna lose you. Or I'll lose you anyway after this."

"Hey," Ben squeezed his hand, having still not let go since Callum started talking. "Hey, slow down. You ain't losing me, okay? Why would you think that?"

"Because I've been...I've been helping my boss on a case...against your dad. He's had me spying, setting up a recording device at the Arches - he even made me wear a wire. I'm not wearing it now!" Callum added quickly. "I stopped that pretty much straight away, I just couldn't..."

Ben let go of his hands, standing up abruptly. "No. No, you can't be. This ain't happening. Not you, please."

"I'm so sorry. I never wanted to do it, but he forced me. It was either do this or let you go to prison, Ben, and I--"

"What are you on about?"

"You didn't avoid those charges because I deleted the CCTV. It was too late for that, Thompson saw you on the footage and he knew I'd held it back. He said if I worked with him to bring Phil in he'd let you go."

There was silence as Ben dropped back onto the sofa beside him. He looked at Callum, seemingly unable to speak for the moment.

"I said no at first," the older man continued. "I knew it would be a massive betrayal. Then I heard your dad and Ritchie talking. Nobody could do anything for you. I saw Lexi and...I'm not bringing her into this, it's all on me but, when she asked about you and I thought about having to tell her you might not be coming home I just..."

Callum took a breath. "So I told Thompson I'd do it. And then I told your dad I'd work for him to help protect you which is all I ever wanted to do, Ben. But I just keep getting myself in deeper shit and when I tried to stop he threatened to - my boss I mean - he said he'd throw both of us inside."

Ben suddenly came to life at that. "You? What could he charge you with?" 

"He's got me on tape, beating up Danny," Callum confessed. "I just lost it, the things he was saying about you. I don't know what's happening to me any more." 

"I can't believe this. I just can't."

"I know. I'm sorry. I know there's nothing I can say. I've gone against your family, I've lied, I'm doing all the things I hated you doing. I'm a hypocrite. But it was a choice between you and your dad. Save you, or do nothing. And I couldn't do nothing, Ben, I just couldn't."

Reaching out to cup Callum's face, Ben gently turned his head to look at him. "I'm so sorry," he said in a quiet voice. 

"What?" Callum faltered, taking in the overwhelming comfort of Ben cradling him so gently. "Why are you sorry? I did this. I've made such a mess of everything."

"A mess that would never have happened if I'd stayed away from that warehouse job. This is down to me. And now look, your career, your life is ruined thanks to me."

"Don't. Things were so good with us before I started all this dirty work. You've been talking to me, letting me in more and I was so happy moving in here. But then all this happened and I didn't get to enjoy it."

"I knew something was going on but you just shut down every time I tried to ask," Ben said sadly.

Callum sighed. "And I couldn't even talk to you about it. I wanted to so badly, I wanted you to tell me what to do."

"Oh, babe. We'll sort this, I promise. How much can you even trust this boss of yours, anyway? He could be planning to double-cross you." 

"He's definitely dodgy, Ben. I've thought of that but what's the alternative. How can I risk it?"

"It'll be okay, I'm gonna get you out of this, Cal. I just...I can't believe what you've done for me, what you've put yourself through. And that scumbag, using you like this."

"I thought that was it. I thought you'd hate me."

"Never. Nobody's ever done...no one puts me first, y'know. Dad's only happy with me when I'm living up to the Mitchell name. Mum faked her death and has only really been bothered about Ian since she got back, and I've never felt like anyone's priority. Until you."

Callum is floored. "Ben..."

"I mean it, Callum. I wish you'd never been put in that position, I wish I'd never put you there but god, I love you so much. And I trust you. So you and me, we're solid, yeah? No more secrets, no more bottling stuff up and making yourself ill with worry. You're not on your own and you never will be again."

"No more secrets. I love you. And you'll always come first for me." 

Ben took a few seconds to savour that sentiment, before dropping a quick kiss to Callum's lips. "Right. Now about that weasel Thompson..."


End file.
